EVENTS MANAGEMENT AND FASHION DESIGNER

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BATTERED WOMAN SYNDROME

this story was taken from www.inq7.net

URL: http://www.inq7.net/opi/2004/jan/27/text/opi_mltan-1-p.htm

The (dangerous) silence
of the lambs
Posted:10:56 PM (Manila Time) | Jan. 26, 2004
By Michael L. Tan

I AM heartened by the way the Inquirer has been giving such prominent coverage to the case of Marivic Isidro Genosa, sentenced to death in 1998 and now ordered released from prison, following a Supreme Court review of her case. I consider the case so important that I will be using it in my classes with medical students and hope something similar can be done with all our law schools as well as institutions training health professionals.

Let’s reconstruct what happened, based on the court records.

Genosa was first found guilty of parricide by a court in Ormoc City in Leyte province. The court said that on Nov. 15, 1995, Genosa “did willfully, unlawfully and feloniously attack, assault, hit and wound one Ben Genosa, her legitimate husband…” The court added that because Genosa had done this “with treachery and evident premeditation,” she deserved the death penalty.

Fortunately, Genosa was able to appeal, with lawyer Katrina Legarda coming in for the defense. With the help of her lawyers and psychologists, Genosa proved she was suffering from the “battered woman syndrome,” with the following signs: (1) the woman believes that the violence inflicted on her is her own fault; (2) the woman is unable to place the responsibility for the violence elsewhere; (3) the woman fears for her life and for her children’s; and (4) the woman believes her abuser is omnipresent and omniscient.

In addition, Dr. Dino Caing testified that Genosa had consulted him at least six times for injuries related to domestic violence and another 23 times for “severe hypertension due to emotional stress.”

Reviewing these new findings, the Supreme Court concluded that Genosa had acted in self-defense, and reduced her sentence from capital punishment to six to 14 years. Because she had already been in prison for more than six years, she was ordered released. The Genosa case has many implications for our courts. Mainly, I was struck by how Genosa had in fact pleaded self-defense when she was first tried, but the court ruled that there was no violence immediately preceding the murder. I wonder how many Genosas have been — and will be — victimized by our judicial system’s lack of understanding of domestic violence.

Coincidentally, the day the Supreme Court ruled on Genosa, the Social Weather Stations (SWS) research group released a survey in which nine percent of the female respondents said they had experienced physical abuse, the majority of whom said this harm was inflicted by their husbands, boyfriends or live-in partners. In the same survey, 12 percent of the male respondents admitted they had physically harmed someone, the majority of whom were their wives, girlfriends and live-in partners.

What our lawyers and judges need to understand is that the degree of violence may vary but because the battering is chronic and becomes more and more frequent, we eventually get the battered woman syndrome, and the long-suffering victims’ outburst may not necessarily be triggered by a violent act.

The syndrome is really similar to what we see in people recruited into cults. Abusive spouses or partners, like cult leaders, hostage their victims’ minds by making them totally dependent, so that even if they are constantly abused, they stay on, sometimes even blaming themselves for the violence. They stay on, too, because their dependency relationships make them believe their abuser is all-powerful, and that there is no escape.

Victims of domestic violence often do not fight back, some even turning to self-destructive behaviors, including suicide. Note that if Genosa had been executed, the message that would gone out to other battered women was that they should just bear with their suffering.

Genosa fought back, and the fact that she shot her husband, and then bludgeoned him with a pipe, tells us it wasn’t just pent-up anger but fear that was involved, almost a determination that she would never again suffer from the abuser. The court only saw the victimized woman’s violence, not the violence inflicted on her by her husband over the years.

Her husband’s death has not meant relief for Genosa. She languished in jail from the time of her arrest in 1995, through her death sentence in 1998, until the Supreme Court ruled in her favor. Even with her release, she still will need help to deal with many old wounds.

The Genosa decision is important because it can now be invoked in other trials, hopefully to help more battered women from being doubly victimized, first by their partners and then by the courts. The Genosa case is particularly instructive because it shows how our judges are willing to even send a battered woman to death row. I’ve written in the past about why capital punishment is so dangerous because it is imposed so capriciously.

Law schools should tackle this landmark case, together with education on gender issues and gender-based violence. I did want to alert the health professions as well to the Genosa case because it so graphically represents what could happen when battered women are unable to get help. Note how Genosa’s doctor had treated her six times for physical injuries. I am sure there were many other times when she did not seek medical help because the injuries, at least the physical ones, were “milder.”

Note, too, that the doctor saw Genosa 23 times for severe hypertension. Our medical, nursing, occupational and physical therapy schools should all be teaching students how to detect signs of domestic violence, especially the less visible emotional and mental injuries. Health professionals are sometimes too quick to dismiss complaints like “back pain,” “high blood” and “nerbyos” [tension] as “psychosomatic” when, in many cases, they are idioms of distress, ways by which battered women are trying to ask for help.

Detection is only the first step. Health professionals need to know where to refer battered spouses. The congressional spouses’ organization has set up halfway houses in each region for survivors of domestic violence but we will need many more of these refuges, as well as counseling centers. The Social Weather Stations figure showing nine percent of women suffering from physical abuse means we may have some 2.1 million people being victimized, many of them bearing the violence like lambs, in dangerous silence.
©2004 www.inq7.net all rights reserved

MATRIMONY AND DIVORCE

+++MATRIMONY AND DIVORCE

+++Part 1

The Bible teaches that lawful marriage cannot be dissolved by any human power.

“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.”— Mt. 19:6

COMMENT: This doctrine is maintained at a great price by the Catholic Church. Of old it cost her nearly the whole of England. Today she loses thousands every year because of her uncompromising stand upon this subject. But did she do otherwise, she would cease to be the true Church of Christ.

+++Part 2

The Bible teaches that remarriage (during the lifetime of the former consort) is adultery.

“And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, let not the wife depart from her husband; but and if she depart let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.”—1 Cor. 7:10,11

“And he saith unto them, whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another she committeth adultery.”— Mark 10:11,12

“Whosoever putteth away his wife and marrieth another, committeth adultery and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.”— LK. 16:18

COMMENT: If one party commits adultery the other party may, under certain circumstances, live separate from guilty party; but may not remarry during the former consort’s lifetime. This is the real meaning of Mt. 19: 9

CATHOLIC APOLOGETICS.NET

IS IT TIME TO CUT YOUR LANDLINE FOR GOOD?

Is it time to cut your landline for good?
By Tom Regan, The Christian Science Monitor
When I left the Monitor as a full-time staffer to work from home as a freelance writer last fall, I knew that, among the various items I’d need to pursue this endeavor (laptop, wireless Internet, fax machine) would be a second phone line.
We already had one phone, a landline, that handled most of the family needs. But I was going to need a line for work-related calls. I wasn’t all that enthused about getting another “regular phone” — appointments waiting for service people to come, holes drilled into my house, yet another way for telemarketers to contact me.

So I went to the local mall and bought a cellphone instead. Now I had a phone number that was all mine; I could carry the phone wherever I went; people could reach me when they needed me, and I had access to e-mail, text messaging, and the Web. I even started using the alarm clock feature to wake me up in the morning. And all for a price that was less than what I paid every month for my landline. Hmmm, I wondered, Why do I need that landline again?

Turns out, plenty of people are considering this option. According to a Harris Interactive Technology Research poll taken last spring, 9% of Americans have already switched from landlines to cellphones, another 5% were considering it within the next year, and a whopping 47% of Americans had given the idea some thought. Last summer the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) released a report showing that the number of cellphones in the United States had surpassed the number of landlines — 181.1 million cellphones vs. 177.9 million landlines.

So I called a friend in Boston who had already made the switch from landline to cellphone to see what it’s been like for her. Sara Steindorf and her husband, David Sterrett, have been mobile-only for about a year. Sara, who works for a public-relations firm, says cost and convenience were some of the main reasons she switched to a cellphone only.

“In our old apartment we had high-speed cable Internet, so we didn’t need a landline,” she says. “So why have a home phone?”

• Home Entertainment
• Digital Photography
• Consumer Goods
• Computers
• Mobile
• Software

Sara finds more pluses than minuses to using a cellphone. But one of the drawbacks is when relatives call. “David’s parents tend to call him on his phone and my parents on mine, so I don’t get to talk to my in-laws as much as I would like,” she says.

Other factors, however, may work against people moving to mobile only. Jim Grier, a consultant in mobile technology, wrote recently on TechBuilder.org that even with advances in technology, landlines have not become obsolete — yet. After writing about his own switch to a cellphone only in his weekly newsletter, Mr. Grier received lots of feedback from his subscribers about why landlines are still a good deal.

Landlines don’t have batteries that run out and never need to be recharged in the middle of a call (unless you’re using a cordless phone). The way most landline agreements work, it’s pretty hard to “go over your minutes” and get billed extra. Some users find their cellphones have poor reception. And then there’s the 911 situation.

“Most cellphones don’t have GPS [Global Positioning], so 911 operators can’t pinpoint the location of the caller” if there is a medical emergency, Grier wrote. “With landline phones, however, the 911 operator receives the exact address of the caller automatically.”

Respondents in the Harris Interactive Poll also cited two other reasons for not switching to mobile phones only: the need for Internet access (high speed DSL service or dial-up) and lack of plans with good pricing.

So how do you decide if you should make the switch? Much of that answer depends on your personal situation. Single people or couples without children will find it easier to switch to cellphone-only service. Younger people who have grown up with a sense of mobility will appreciate this cellphone feature, along with the extras that come with a cellphone, such as text messaging, a way to take and store personal photos, and even a way to listen to music.

Families will probably want to have at least one landline in their homes for the safety reason mentioned above. And if you make a lot of international calls (as I do), in most cases you receive a much better rate on a landline.

The reality is that for now, most people see cellphones as a realistic choice as the “second phone” in the house, or for a small business. Even people who only use cellphones for voice conversations might get a basic landline for Internet access or as a fax line. But even if you want a landline, there is an increasingly common way to get that line — Voice over Internet (VoIP).

I’ll investigate that prospect in my next column, which will appear in two weeks.

Copyright 2006, The Christian Science Monitor

SIMPLICITY FROM INFO@DEFENSORESFIDEI.COM

NATURALNESS AND SIMPLICITY
The Messiah came to the temple in his Mother’s arms. No one would have paid much attention to the young couple who were taking a little child to present him to the Lord.

The mothers had to wait for the priest at the East gate. Mary went there with the other women and waited for her turn when the priest would take her Son in his arms. Joseph was by her side, ready to pay the ransom. The ceremony of Mary’s purification and the ransom of the Child from service to the Temple was no different in appearance from what normally happened on those occasions.

The whole of Mary’s life is permeated with a deep simplicity. She always carries out her vocation as Mother of the Redeemer naturally. She appears in her cousin Elizabeth’s house to help and look after her during those three months. She prepares the swaddling clothes and everything for her Son. She lives for thirty years with Jesus, never tiring of looking at Him, treating Him with great love, but with complete simplicity. When she obtains his first miracle from her Son in Cana she does it so naturally that not even the bride and groom realize what a wonderful event has taken place. She never makes show of her special privileges. Mary, the most holy Mother of God, passes unnoticed as just one more among the women of her town. Learn from her how to live with naturalness. Our Lady’s simplicity and naturalness made her humanly very specially welcoming and attractive. Jesus, her Son, during the thirty years of His hidden life, is always the model of perfect simplicity. When He begins to preach the Good News He does not carry out a noisy, spectacular activity. Jesus is simplicity itself in His birth, in the presentation in the Temple, or when He manifests His Divinity through the miracles which God alone can work.

Our Savior shuns all show and vain-glory and false, theatrical gestures. He makes Himself accessible to all: to the incurably sick and the most abandoned, who come to him trustingly to beg the remedy for their infirmities; to the Apostles, who ask him the meaning of the parables, to the little children, who embrace him confidently.

Simplicity is a sign of humility. It is radically opposed to anything false, artificial or deceitful. It is also a very necessary virtue for our dealings with God, for spiritual guidance and for our daily life with those around us. Naturalness. Let your lives as Christians men, as Christian women – your salt and your light – flow spontaneously, without anything odd or absurd; always carry with you our spirit of simplicity.

Excerpts from IN CONVERSATION WITH GOD by Francis Fernandez.
To subscribe or unsubscribe, please email info@defensoresfidei.com.

YOU ARE INVITED ON JANUARY 7,2006 SATURDAY FAMILY DAY

May I respectfully invite you to join us at the Kongreso ng mga
Maralita on
Jan. 7, 2006? The Kalipunan ng mga Kapatiran ng Pamilyang Pilipino
(KKPP) is
spearheading the effort and is mobilizing 4000 members for the Kongreso
ng mga
Maralita and celebration of Araw ng Pamilya ng mga Maralita on January
7,
2006, eve of the Feast of the Epiphany.

The Kongreso is being held in response to and in support of the
Church’s stand
and President Arroyo’s new twin policies favoring the Billings
Ovulation
Method as a way of ensuring protection of the Health and Welfare of
Women and
the improvement of the productivity of the Family which she announced
at the
UN Summit in New York in September.

We have invited the President, herself, to be our keynote speaker
because what
she has done in the UN has never been done by any head of state whereas
in the
Philippines, this twin policy has been the subject of our Advocacy
since we
begun fighting the population control movement.

I am pleased to invite you to join the various Family and Life groups
at
the Kongreso ng mga Maralita on the 7th of January 2006. More
importantly,
several Mayors are joining to pledge their Cities to be one of our
Model
Cities in the implementation of the Twin Policies declared by the
President
which are: Billings Ovulation Method as the way to protect the
reproductive
health of our Women and Improving the Productivity of the Family

Thus, this is also a day to pledge commitment to help disseminate the
knowledge and practice of the Billings Ovulation Method for Couple
Achievers
and Spacers within the parameters of the Teachings of the Church,
Humane
Vitae. I am positive the member families of KKPP will treasure this
experience
of your sharing the day with them because it is also the Araw ng
Pamilyang mga
Maralita.

The Kongreso will be held at the Adamson University Theatre at San
Marcelino
St. in Ermita. Registration opens at 7:30 a.m. and the Opening Mass
will be
concelebrated at 10:00 a.m. led by the Most Rev. Paciano Aniceto, D.D.,
Chairman of the CBCP Episcopal Commission on Family and Life and
Archbishop of
the Archdiocese of San Fernando.

Pleaqse feel free to bring other lawmaker friends (or even enemies of
the
Advocacy).

Very sincerely,

Manny Arejola
President, KKPP

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

According to Maui (www.maui.i.ph), there is no such thing as an uncomplicated woman. A woman wants to be showered with attention, love etc.
Women need recognition, affection like men do. Men need to be feel needed too.
According to Veronica Monet, men need a shoulder to cry on, someone who can listen to him, give him attention, play games with him, laugh even to his corny jokes, hold his hand, not badger him, nor put him done.
I always advice be married to your best friend, strengthen that friendship so you stay married. Forgive each other.Know that little boy in him, and your man will stay with you.What do u you think?
attysison2020@yahoo.com

THEFILIPINOMIND.BLOGSPOT.COM, QUEZON.PH ON NATIONALISM

NOTE: This posting also appears in my blogsites, Just Click: http://thefilipinomind.blogspot.com/ or http://thefilipinomindy2006.blogspot.com/
Appreciate forwarding the postings to relatives and friends , especially in the homeland.

RUN LIKE HELL BY FILIPINOS

“I would rather have a Philippines run like hell by Filipinos than a Philippines run like heaven by the Americans” — Manuel L. Quezon

NOTE: Once in a while, I get emailed by self-proclaimed “former” Filipinos, who are now proud, naturalized Americans, and who with apparent sarcasm quote the late President Quezon. I suppose my ranting about Filipino nationalism makes them sick. Well, sometimes truth makes one sick.

I found here a good response from a fellow blogger, who happens to be a Quezon descendant, to such self-proclaimed, gaggling “ex/former-Filipinos.”

“Nations,whose NATIONALISM is destroyed, are subject to ruin.” - Colonel Muhammar Qaddafi, 1942-, Libyan Political and Military Leader

*****************************************************
Nationalism
By Manuel L. Quezon III
Inquirer News Service

AFTER THE MASSACRE at Amritsar, Mahatma Gandhi said to British officials led by the viceroy of India: “I beg you to accept that there is no people on earth who wouldn’t prefer their own bad government to the good government of an alien power.”

About 10 years earlier, a Filipino said basically the same thing: “I prefer a government run like hell by Filipinos to a government run like heaven by Americans.” It was a sound bite heard around the world. But what all too few recalled was the essential sentence that came next: “Because, however bad a Filipino government might be, we can always change it.”

To this day, there are Filipinos who, whenever something goes wrong, cackle and say, “Look, Quezon got his wish. We have a government run like hell!” As if it is something uniquely Quezonian — and Filipino — to want to run our own lives, badly as the case may be, rather than entrust it to the guidance of foreigners.

What Quezon and Gandhi said roughly a decade apart is the essence of nationalism: a people, a nation, must have the chance to make good and bad decisions, because there is simply no substitute for decisions made for one’s self, by one’s self. Government will not always be good, leaders will not always be the best, but in the end, a government and its leaders must be selected by the people and no one else.

Love of country, nationalism, requires that a people have the freedom both to make mistakes and achieve great things. After all, the lives of individuals as well as nations require learning, and one cannot learn without, at times, doing wrong or making mistakes. Surely it is better to make one’s own mistakes, to collectively endure errors of one’s choosing, rather than undertake the same risks at the direction of a colonial power.

Nationalism is not my country, right or wrong, or everything for my countrymen at the expense of all aliens, but rather a more fundamental appreciation that one belongs to a people who have a country, and that the destiny of that country is in the hands of a people free to make errors but at the same time rectify their mistakes. It involves a sense of stewardship over a particular territory that geography and history have made the primary responsibility of no one else on earth but those who inhabit that territory.

When, as a child, I first asked what nationalism meant, I was simply told, “It means love of country.” There are many kinds of love, as we all discover as we grow up, but fundamental to understanding love is that it requires a sense of self-worth and dignity. You cannot love and be loved, first of all, if you do not love yourself. And you cannot love properly if your love is the kind that is dependent merely on the approval of others, or measured by what you might believe to be the superior love of others. To love one’s country is to love one’s land and people with all their flaws, despite all their wrongs; and to maintain, at the same time, a conviction that one’s love for nation and nationhood will result in a better, stronger country.

As a child, every August 19, I would look at the statue of Quezon in Letran and wonder what it was he was portrayed as being in the act of saying. Eventually I asked one Dominican, who looked at me sternly and thundered, “He is saying, ‘I love the Philippines!’” And the answer satisfied me.

Many years later, I came across a recording of one of Quezon’s speeches, and it is the only one I have committed to memory both due to its brevity and its being to the point. The speech was recorded in the 1920s, when he was first diagnosed with tuberculosis and assumed he didn’t have much longer to live. It goes like this:

“My fellow citizens: there is one thought I want you always to bear in mind. And that is: that you are Filipinos. That the Philippines are your country, and the only country God has given you. That you must keep it for yourselves, for your children, and for your children’s children, until the world is no more. You must live for it, and die for it, if necessary.

“Your country is a great country. It has a great past, and a great future. The Philippines of yesterday are consecrated by the sacrifices of lives and treasure of your patriots, martyrs, and soldiers. The Philippines of today are honored by the wholehearted devotion to its cause of unselfish and courageous statesmen. The Philippines of tomorrow will be the country of plenty, of happiness, and of freedom. A Philippines with her raised in the midst of the West Pacific, mistress of her own destiny, holding in her hand the torch of freedom and democracy. A republic of virtuous and righteous men and women all working together for a better world than the one we have at present.”

These are the basics we often overlook, but which are the requirements for true love of country: A sense of identity. A sense of belonging. A sense of responsibility and accountability to the past, to the present, and to the future. Most of all, a dream of a country that is no one’s but our own, and for which we must always retain the fondest dreams to inspire us as we go about our daily lives.

Comments welcome at http://www.quezon.ph/

Source: http://www.inq7.net/globalnation/sec_fea/2004/aug/19-02.htm

See also:
http://thefilipinomind.blogspot.com/2005/05/what-is-filipino-nationalism-mrs.html ,
http://thefilipinomind.blogspot.com/2005/05/what-nationalism-good-article-by.html ,
http://thefilipinomind.blogspot.com/2005/12/do-filipino-nationalists-use-blame.html