FROM ATTACKS TO TALK OF ‘SIGNS,’ A SWIRL HAS ARISEN AROUND A FAMOUS APPARITION
There is suddenly more than the normal activity swirling around the famous apparition site of Medjugorje in Bosnia-Hercegovina. There is the approach of its 25th anniversary — and so many ready to attend that rooms are all but impossible to obtain. Crowds are said to be larger than ever (if not with so many Americans). There is the sudden flurry of new books on the apparitions. A number have been released in the last several months. There are the attacks: never in its more than two decades of history have there been so many attacks against the site. And there is the speculation on how Pope Benedict XVI feels about the happenings.
But mainly, there has been a series of extraordinary messages.
At a site where indications of the future are few and far between, and where seers carefully deflect questions about their “secrets” (focusing instead on standard Catholic teaching), now come two messages that suddenly sail beyond that low-key approach.
“Dear children! In this Lenten time, I call you to interior renunciation. The way to this leads you through love, fasting, prayer and good works. Only with total interior renunciation will you recognize God’s love and the signs of the time in which you live. You will be witnesses of these signs and will begin to speak about them. I desire to bring you to this. Thank you for having responded to me,” was the missive reported on March 18, 2006, by seer Mirjana Dragicevic-Soldo, who was first to receive all ten secrets and who receives a monthly as well as an annual birthday appearance.
That was the annual message. And not long after, on March 25, 2006 — Feast of the Annunciation — was this message from another seer, Marija Pavlovic-Lunetti:
“Courage, little children! I decided to lead you on the way of holiness. Renounce sin and set out on the way of salvation, the way which my Son has chosen. Through each of your tribulations and sufferings God will find the way of joy for you. Therefore, little children, pray. We are close to you with our love. Thank you for having responded to my call.”
It was the first time in memory that the message did not start out with “Dear children” — and the word “courage” was used in a way that went beyond its previous usage at Medjugorje (where if anything it was used in terms of evangelization). Moreover, “decided” is past tense. It had been 13 years since “signs” was uttered in such a directly prophetic way.
We must always be cautious of problems in translation. But there was no mistaking the overall tenor of two messages less than a month apart. Was she saying that the apparitions were nearing their conclusion? Or was she simply hinting that something was coming — something big?
The few indications offered about the secrets indicate that they include events that will come as warnings to the world, followed by developments in the Church, at Medjugorje itself, and by “chastisements.” John Paul II was known to read the monthly messages — with many of his themes echoing them, including establishment of World Youth Day.
But it is the idea of darkness engulfing the world — a notion John Paul also repeated, in one of his last letters — as well as major events as purification that initially galvanized interest in the apparitions, and the new messages hearken to those early days, as well as to the 1990s.
In fact the last time she uttered the term “signs of the times” had been on January 25, 1993, and then several months later on August 25, 1993, at the height of the civil war in former Yugoslavia — a time when bombs could be heard at night echoing from the nearby city of Mostar and Medjugorje itself had been threatened (but miraculously spared).
“May every hatred and jealousy disappear from your life and your thoughts, and may there only dwell love for God and for your neighbor,” she said that January. “Thus, and only thus shall you be able to discern the signs of the time.”
“Read Sacred Scripture, live it, and pray to understand the signs of the times,” she said that August.
In using similar language now was she simply pointing to the war in Iraq – which at the time of the 2006 messages was going especially badly, with sectarian strife, with the beginnings of civil war as there had been civil war in Bosnia – or is it of higher moment?
The few times she had otherwise used the word “signs” had to do with “signs” of spring, or “signs” of God in a sunrise. It had to do with nature.
These were very weighty words. It was hard to conceive of the seers formulating all this themselves, in such a perfectly succinct way. To do so, each would have to be a proficient writer – at times, more than a proficient writer. It was powerful and exacting prose.
Whatever the Church deems true or untrue (by which we will strictly abide), these were poignant reminders that what was occurring
Separation Safety Plan (adapted from the Metro Nashville Police Department) ——————————————————————————– Name:_______________________ _______Date:____________ The following steps represent my plan for increasing my safety and preparing in advance for the possibility for further violence. Although I do not have control over my partner’s violence, I do have a choice about how to respond to him/her and how to best get myself and my children to safety. ——————————————————————————– Step 1: Safety during a violent incident. Women cannot always avoid violent incidents. In order to increase safety, battered women may use a variety of strategies. I can use some or all of the following strategies: A. If I decide to leave, I will ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ (Practice how to get out safely. What doors, windows, elevators, stairwells or fire escapes would you use?) B. I can keep my purse and car keys ready and put them (place) _________________ in order to leave quickly. C. I can tell _____________________about the violence and request they call the police if they hear suspicious noises coming from my house. D. I can teach my children how to use the telephone to contact the police and the fire department. E. I will use _______________________ as my code for my children or my friends so they can call for help. F. If I have to leave my home, I will go _____________________ (Decide this even if you don’t think there will be a next time). If I cannot go to the location above, then I can go to_________ __________________or ______________________________. G. I can also teach some of these strategies to some/all my children. H. When I expect we are going to have an argument, I will try to move to a space that is lowest risk, such as ____________ ____________________. (Try to avoid arguments in the bathroom, garage, kitchen, near weapons or in rooms without access to an outside door). I. I will use my judgment and intuition. If the situation is very serious, I can give my partner what he/she wants to calm him/her down. I have to protect myself until I/we are out of danger. ——————————————————————————– Step 2: Safety when preparing to leave. Battered women frequently leave the residence they share with the battering partner. Leaving must be done with a careful plan in order to increase safety. Batterers often strike back when they believe that a battered woman is leaving the relationship. I can use some or all the following safety strategies: A. I will leave money and an extra set of keys with _____________________ so that I can leave quickly. B. I will keep copies of important documents or keys at _______________________. C. I will open a savings account by ______________, to increase my independence. D. Other things I can do to increase my independence include: E. The Women’s Resources hot line number is 570-421-4200 (Police can be reached at 911 or ___________) and I can seek shelter by calling the hot line. F. I can keep change for phone calls on me at all times. I under stand that if I use my telephone credit card, the following month the telephone bill will tell my batterer those numbers that I called after I left. To keep my telephone communications confidential, I must either use coins or a pre-paid calling card or I might get a friend to permit me to use their telephone credit card for a limited time when I first leave. G. I will check with ____________________ and _____________ ____ to see who would be able to let me stay with them or lend me some money. H. I can leave extra clothes with _________________________. I. I will sit down and review my safety plan every ________________ in order to plan the safest way to leave the residence. ________________ (domestic violence advocate or friend) has agreed to help me review this plan. J. I will rehearse my escape plan and, as appropriate, practice it with my children. ——————————————————————————– Step 3: Safety in my own residence. There are many things that a woman can do to increase her safety in her own residence. It may be impossible to do everything at once, but safety measures can be added step by step. Safety measures I can use include: A. I can change the locks on my doors and windows as soon as possible. B. I can replace wooden doors with steel/metal doors. C. I can install security systems including additional locks, window bars, poles to wedge against doors, an electronic system, etc. D. I can purchase rope ladders to be used for escape from second floor windows. E. I can install smoke detectors and purchase fire extinguishers for each floor in my house/apartment. F. I can install an outside lighting system that lights up when a person is coming close to my house. G. I will teach my children how to use the telephone to make a collect call to me and to _______________(friend/minister/ other) in the event that my partner takes the children. H. I will tell people who take care of my children which people have permission to pick up my children and that my partner is not permitted to do so. The people I will inform about pick-up permission include: __________________________________________(school), ________________________________________(day care staff), ________________________________________(babysitter), ___________________________________(Sunday school teacher), ________________________________________(teacher), ________________________________________(and), ________________________________________(others), I. I can inform ______________________________(neighbors), _______________________________________(pastor), and, _______________________________________(friend) that my partner no longer resides with me and that they should call the police if he is observed near my residence. ——————————————————————————– ——————————————————————————– Step 4: Safety with an Protection from Abuse Order.(IN PHILIPPINES permanent protection order (PPO) Many battered women obey PFA(PPO) orders, but one can never be sure which violent partner will obey and which will violate PFA(PPO) Orders. I recognize that I may need to ask the police and the court to enforce my PFA(PPO) Order. The following are some steps that I can take to help the enforcement of my PFA Order: A. I will keep my PFA Order _________________(location) (Always keep it on or near your person. If you change purses, that’s the first thing that should go in). B. I will give my PFA Order to police departments in the communities where I usually visit family or friends, and in the community where I live. C. There should be a county registry of PFA Orders that all police departments can call to confirm a PFA Order. I can check to make sure that my order is in registry. The telephone number for the county registry of PFA Order is _________________________________. D. For further safety, if I often visit other counties in Pennsylvania, I might file my PFA Order with the court in those counties. I will register my PFA Order in the following counties: ___________________ and _________________ that I have a PFA Order in effect. E. I can call the local domestic violence program if I am not sure about B, C, or D above or if I have some problem with my PFA Order. F. I will inform my employer, my minister, my closest friend and _____________ and ____________that I have a PFA Order in effect. G. If my partner destroys my PFA Order, I can get another copy from the Monroe County Courthouse by going to the Prothonotary’s office on the 3rd floor. H. If my partner violates the PFA Order, I can call the police and report a violation, contact my attorney, call my advocate, and/or advise the court of the violation. I. If the police do not help, I can contact my advocate or attorney and will file a complaint with the chief of the police department. J. I can also file a private criminal compliant with the district justice in the jurisdiction where the violation occurred or with the district attorney. I can charge my battering partner with a violation of the Protection from Abuse Order [PFA Order] and all the crimes that he commits in violating the order. I can call the domestic violence advocate to help me with this. ——————————————————————————– Step 5: Safety on the job and in public. Each battered woman must decide if and when she will tell others that her partner has battered her and that she may be at continued risk. Friends, family and co-workers can help to protect women. Each woman should consider carefully which people to invite to help secure her safety. I might do any or all of the following: A. I can inform my boss, the security supervisor and ___________ at work of my situation. B. I can ask ________________ to help screen my telephone calls at work. C. When leaving work, I can ______________________________ _________________________________________________. D. When driving home if problems occur, I can ________________ _________________________________________________. E. If I use public transit, I can ______________________________ _________________________________________________. F. I will go to different grocery stores and shopping malls to conduct my business and shop at hours that are different than those when residing with my batterer partner. G. I can use a different bank and take care of my banking at hours different from those I used when residing with my batterer partner. H. I can also __________________________________________. ——————————————————————————– Step 6: Safety and drug or alcohol use. Most people in this culture use alcohol. Many use mood-altering drugs. Much of this use is legal and some is not. The legal outcomes of using illegal drugs can be very hard on a battered woman, may hurt her relationship with her children and put her at a disadvantage in other legal actions with her battering partner. Therefore, women should carefully consider the potential cost of the use of illegal drugs. But beyond this, the use of any alcohol or other drug can reduce a woman’s awareness and ability to act quickly to protect herself from her battering partner. Furthermore, the use of alcohol or other drugs by the batterer may give him/her an excuse to use violence. Therefore, in the context of drug or alcohol use, a woman needs to make specific safety plans. If drug or alcohol use has occurred in my relationship with the battering partner, I can enhance my safety by some or all of the following: A. If I am going to use, I can do so in a safe place and with people who understand the risk of violence and are committed to my safety. B. I can also ___________________________________________. C. If my partner is using, I can _____________________________. D. I might also _________________________________________. E. To safeguard my children, I might ______________________________________ and ______________________________________________. ——————————————————————————– Step 7: Safety and my emotional health. The experience of being battered and verbally degraded by partners is usually exhausting and emotionally draining. The process of building a new life for myself takes much courage and incredible energy. To conserve my emotional energy and resources and to avoid hard emotional times, I can do some of the following: A. If I feel down and ready to return to a potentially abusive situation, I can _____________________________________________. B. When I have to communicate with my partner in person or by telephone, I can ____________________________________. C. I can try to use "I can . . . " statements with myself and to be assertive with others. D. I can tell myself - "_____________________________________ ______________________________" whenever I feel others are trying to control or abuse me. E. I can read ____________________________to help me feel stronger. F. I can call ___________________, ___________________ and _________________as other resources to be of support of me. G. Other things I can do to help me feel stronger are ____________ ______________, and _______________________________. H. I can attend workshops and support groups at the domestic violence program or _________________________, or _____ _______________to gain support and strengthen my relationship with other people. ——————————————————————————– Step 8: Items to take when leaving. When women leave partners, it is important to take certain items with them. Beyond this, women sometimes give an extra copy of papers and an extra set of clothing to a friend just in case they have to leave quickly. Money : Even if I have never worked, I can legally the funds in our joint checking and savings accounts as either account holder has access to the entire balance. If I don’t take any money from the accounts, he can legally take all money and may be able to close the account and I may not get my share until the court rules on it, if ever. Items with asterisks on the following list are the most important to take. If there is time, the other items might be taken, or stored outside the home. These items might be placed in one location, so that if we have to leave in a hurry, I can grab them quickly. When I leave, I should have: * Identification for myself * Children’s birth certificate * My birth certificate * Social security cards * School and vaccination records * Money * Checkbook, ATM (Automatic Tellers Machine) card * Credit cards * Keys - house/car/office * Driver’s license and registration * Medication * Welfare identification, work permits, Green card * Passport(s), Divorce papers * Medical records - for all family members * Lease/rental agreement, house deed, mortgage payment book * Bank books, Insurance papers * Small saleable objects * Address book * Pictures, jewelry * Children’s favorite toys and/or blankets * Items of special sentimental value ——————————————————————————– Telephone numbers I need to know: Police department - home - 911(in the Philippines 117) Police department - school _____________________________ Police department - work ______________________________ Women’s Resources of Monroe County (570) 421-4200 (metro Manila 632-7355555) County registry of [PFA Order]s ______________________ Work number________________________________________ Supervisor’s home number_____________________________ Minister?Priest____________________________________________ Other______________________________________________ Barangay ——————————————————————————– I will keep this document in a safe place and out of the reach of my potential attacker. Review date:_________________________ ——————————————————————————– IF YOU NEED HELP IN FILLING OUT THIS PLAN YOU MAY ASK A WOMEN’S DESK, SOCIALWORKER/ CRISIS CENTER/
Call police117 in the Philippines, go to your nearest DSWD office, or barangay or dial 632-7355555 Indicators of Domestic Abuse Signs that a Women is being Abused: In general, women who are abused physically are often isolated. Their partners tend to control their lives to a great extent as well as verbally degrade them. Some examples follow: the woman mentions not being able to use the telephone she is forbidden from seeing friends unless he is along the man has exclusive control over all money and household financial matters she is not allowed in the decision making process at home he won’t let her learn to drive, go to school, get a job she is limited in her freedom as a child would be. For example,"Go to the store, get milk and come straight home. It should take you 15 minutes" look for self-esteem, poor self-concept. The woman speaks very poorly of herself. She is unable to make eye contact, always looks away or at the ground when talking many times women complain of non-specific aches and pains that are constant and recurring. These are stress related problems. Signs that a Child is a victim of and/or witness to abuse (Stress-related problems): (primarily with boys) serious problems with temper tantrums continual fighting at school or between siblings lashing out at objects, inside or outside of the home treating pets cruelly or abusively threatening younger sister or brother with violence For instance, "You get over here with my teddy bear or I’ll kill you. I’ll slice you into little pieces with a knife" attempting to get attention through hitting, kicking or choking modeling after dad–"Monkey see, monkey do" ~~~ with girls, withdrawal, signs not so obvious occasional cringing if you raise your arm Source: YWCA Spouse Abuse Outreach Services of Southern Indian Volunteers Training Manual, 1985
for the abuse of men go to www.batteredmen.com and www.amen.ie for their stories and similar indications