About the author- litigation lawyer in telecoms, taxation, criminal, labor, appellate, family law and corporate; a radio broadcaster, speaker, author a husband, a father, advocate for consumers, for justice www.angkapatiran.org and a sinner who wants to
be a saint. hilman1108@yahoo.com
RESERVE A BOOK ON DOMESTIC VIOLENCE BY ADRIAN SISON
EMAIL ADRIAN@I.PH
GO TO WWW.AMEN.IE AND WWW.BATTEREDMEN.COM
ARE YOU ABUSED? DOES THE PERSON YOU LOVE…
If you find yourself saying yes, it’s time to get help.
Developed by the National Crime Prevention Council in Partnership with MOTOROLA®.
Anger and conflict is common in a relationship. What’s important is how we handle it. Has it gone too far? Is there an anger problem you need help with? Here are some "anger indicators," from the Web site of Jerry Medol’s highly-successful, male-positive Kansas City Alternatives to Anger program. Are any of these true for your relationship? If so, get help!
1. If anybody is being touched or controlled or dominated, if any abuse is being forced against the will of another, there is abuse going on …it is likely to be violent … it is an anger problem.
2. If you feel attacked or criticized or shamed, or if you find yourself on the defensive a lot …you have an anger problem.
3. If you find yourself not able to listen or if you find yourself shaming another person …you have an anger problem.
4. If either or both of you are raging about what is going on … you both have an anger problem.
5. If either of you feels that you are pushed to the point that you must "take control", verbally or physically … that is an anger problem.
6. If you are in a relationship with somebody who has an anger problem … you also have an anger problem.
Are You in an Abusive Relationship?
A man who had to deal with abuse issues in his own life (and who has started a message board for abused men) looked into the issue of how a man can know if his relationship is abusive. He found two books that focus on women in abusive relationships, but none for men. He has extracted and edited sections from these books, to make them relevant for men. Click here to see what he came up with.
Ultra-Sensitive Men and Abusive Relationships
Not just for ultra-sensitive men. Ultra-sensitive men don’t have different reactions to an abusive relationship, often, they have more intense reactions. They’re magnified, and we can see them more clearly. If you recognize any of the patterns you see in this article, whether or not you’re ultra-sensitive, it’s time to look at whether your relationship is abusive. Some clues:
2006 1:20am(PDT)
Subject: A Must for Employers
A Must for Employers!
It is an undeniable fact that one major factor why employees leave a
particular company is due to its employer or its top management.
Perhaps, if all companies would have these 3 traits—this may somehow lessen
the quick turnovers and would see employees sticking it out for the
organization’s growth.
1. Be Loving and Giving.
A business owner certainly needs to be like this. Do not ever treat
your employees like robots. They are human beings too with strengths and
weaknesses. In fact, if computers do get to hang at times—your
employees also have the tendencies.
It’s just right that I get my money’s worth—I’m paying them. Would
that be the one valid reason to justify your being a slave driver? Never
forget that you are also human and your true essence is to love. Just
like in any romance novel, love is defined as something that knows no
boundaries and transcends time and space. When you decide to love—you’d
be giving too. Ask yourself, "Am I giving my employees the commensurate
salary for the mileage of work I demand from them?"
2. Consider to being Considerate.
You might have noticed the frequent ‘coming-in lates’ of your
employee and it directly affects your productivity and profitability. Yes,
there may be company policies to discipline them for offenses they have
committed, but have you asked yourself when was the last time you’ve
reached out to your employees?
As a boss, it is never degrading to go down from your pedestal and
talk to your employee(s). In a dialogue, you may discover things that
need your immediate action and consideration. It might be that he or she
is allowing his or her personal problems get in the way of his or her
job—it’s not an excuse. It is also your responsibility to guide them.
Never separate the fact that work and personal issues still go hand in
hand, so why not go out of your way and show your employee(s) that you are
concerned and is always willing to extend a helping hand.
3. Are You Sensitive?
I don’t mean that you easily cry over a victim story. If you get
carried away sometimes with movies created by the imaginative works of
writers, then why can’t you be human enough to understand the feelings of
your employee(s)? Not all day’s in a week or in a month’s time they are
okay, either you or one of your employees would just simply blow
it—don’t just plunge into the situation and worsen it. Let it cool down. When
you’re giving and loving—it won’t be close to impossible that you’d be
sensitive. Sensitivity is putting oneself in their shoes.
These three may sound basic and corny, but I am sure if you’d give it
a try—it will create positive results in your life and in your work as
well. Actually, it’s like learning, un-learning and re-learning. Dick
Leatherman once said, "If I don’t know that I don’t know, how am I going
to learn what I need to learn?
Russelle S. Trinidad
